Link to article: https://experiencecamps.org/blog/making-the-approach-to-a-grieving-friend
Article:
"Hi Sara, My friend died on Saturday, leaving behind a wife and daughter. Do you have any advice on how I can help?"
I've received some version of this email at least 50 times over the years. People reaching out because someone they care about is hurting, and they want to do something anything to help.
The impulse is beautiful. But the execution? That's where people get stuck.
Most of us have no idea what to do when someone we love is grieving. We want to fix it, ease the pain, or at least say the right thing. But grief doesn't work that way. It's messy and unpredictable, and there's no script that works for everyone.
So when those emails land in my inbox, here's what I tell people:
The Approach
Timing is everything. In those first days and weeks after a death, grieving people are often in survival mode managing logistics, fielding calls, and just trying to breathe. They're not ready to think about resources or what comes next.
Give them space. Wait a few weeks before offering information about grief support. And when you do reach out, keep it simple and pressure-free:
"I know of an organization called Experience Camps that supports grieving children. When you're ready, I'd be happy to share what I know or connect you to someone there. In the meantime, here are some resources that you might find helpful when the time is right."
Then let it go. Don't be surprised if they don't respond right away or at all. Grief has its own timeline. Plant the seed, but don't overwater it.
The Resources
I've curated this list based on what I've seen resonate with grieving families over the years.
For Adults
- Experience Camps Grief Resources - https://experiencecamps.org/grief-resources
- What's Your Grief - A blog, podcast, resource hub, and space for sharing https://whatsyourgrief.com
- Eluna Resource Center - Resources on a range of grief topics https://elunanetwork.org/eluna-resource-center/
For Kids and Teens
- GRIEF SUCKS - A straight-talking website and social media presence (Instagram and TikTok @griefsucksdotcom) designed for grieving teens who need real talk, not platitudes https://griefsucks.com
- Sesame Street Grief Videos, articles and games geared towards younger kids. https://sesameworkshop.org/topics/grief/
- National Alliance for Children's Grief (NACG) Find local bereavement groups and grief therapists by location https://nacg.org
Supporting someone through grief isn't about having all the answers. Sometimes it's about not having answers, just listening and helping to hold the person's heavy feelings with them so they feel less alone.
If the timing does feel right to share the resources above, offer them with no expectations. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to simply hand someone a map and allow them to choose their own path forward.
Article:
"Hi Sara, My friend died on Saturday, leaving behind a wife and daughter. Do you have any advice on how I can help?"
I've received some version of this email at least 50 times over the years. People reaching out because someone they care about is hurting, and they want to do something anything to help.
The impulse is beautiful. But the execution? That's where people get stuck.
Most of us have no idea what to do when someone we love is grieving. We want to fix it, ease the pain, or at least say the right thing. But grief doesn't work that way. It's messy and unpredictable, and there's no script that works for everyone.
So when those emails land in my inbox, here's what I tell people:
The Approach
Timing is everything. In those first days and weeks after a death, grieving people are often in survival mode managing logistics, fielding calls, and just trying to breathe. They're not ready to think about resources or what comes next.
Give them space. Wait a few weeks before offering information about grief support. And when you do reach out, keep it simple and pressure-free:
"I know of an organization called Experience Camps that supports grieving children. When you're ready, I'd be happy to share what I know or connect you to someone there. In the meantime, here are some resources that you might find helpful when the time is right."
Then let it go. Don't be surprised if they don't respond right away or at all. Grief has its own timeline. Plant the seed, but don't overwater it.
The Resources
I've curated this list based on what I've seen resonate with grieving families over the years.
For Adults
- Experience Camps Grief Resources - https://experiencecamps.org/grief-resources
- What's Your Grief - A blog, podcast, resource hub, and space for sharing https://whatsyourgrief.com
- Eluna Resource Center - Resources on a range of grief topics https://elunanetwork.org/eluna-resource-center/
For Kids and Teens
- GRIEF SUCKS - A straight-talking website and social media presence (Instagram and TikTok @griefsucksdotcom) designed for grieving teens who need real talk, not platitudes https://griefsucks.com
- Sesame Street Grief Videos, articles and games geared towards younger kids. https://sesameworkshop.org/topics/grief/
- National Alliance for Children's Grief (NACG) Find local bereavement groups and grief therapists by location https://nacg.org
Supporting someone through grief isn't about having all the answers. Sometimes it's about not having answers, just listening and helping to hold the person's heavy feelings with them so they feel less alone.
If the timing does feel right to share the resources above, offer them with no expectations. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to simply hand someone a map and allow them to choose their own path forward.