In order to bring Bonfire back to campus, Aggies need to sack up, do some engineering, and put together a realistic proposal for how the key goals could be met. That's all that's needed, but unfortunately it's a lot easier for people to sit around b*tching and moaning, so that's what happens.
The proposal would include:
- Plans to exceed all measurable standards met by previous Bonfires. Make it bigger and taller, but make it use half as much wood. Make it burn more brightly, but with less polution. Make it light faster, but stand up longer. Make it look bizzarrely precarious, but be ten times more structurally sound. Heck, put sodium and copper in there to give it red and green stripes. This is the part that will inspire people to
want to be part of the project. Make the proposal sufficiently ambitious, and you'll see faculty opposition evaporate, as they actually come to see the educational potential of the enterprise. Aside from that, this needs to be difficult engineering task, or you'll never get the most talented Aggies on board. Instead you end up with red pots "designing" the same thing that was built last year, only forgetting that those logs were angled inwards for a reason.
- Design a safe build site. You can't tell me that there is no way to safely build this thing. All you need is a little imagination and/or research. For example, build a large framework overarching the build site from which workers could be suspended on bungee cables, and yanked to safety at the first hint of a shift in any of the logs (detected by reflecting lasers off of them). Granted this may seem farfetched, but people have done far more farfetched things in great engineering projects of the past. Another example -- instead of using wires to connect the logs, design a more robust system of joints. I have no specific ideas here, but think tinker toys, legos, or Lincoln logs.
- Plans to institute required safety classes with a "Bonfire license" exam at the end. Make the test difficult, to weed out the people who are only interested in getting drunk. Make people go home if they fail.
- Outline a ridiculously over-diligent system of oversight and accountability, where all plans are scrutinized, and weaknesses can be identified and addressed immediately. This is the part to satisfy the lawyers and bureaucrats. Idea: Require every worker to understand the design, pass an exam testing this knowledge, and sign off his approval or make suggestions on how to improve the design.
- Include a section for long-term goals. Set goals for improving the design and procedures steadily over time. Designate metrics for evaluating long-term progress.
- Make Bonfire more politically palatable for non-Aggies. Send Bonfire crews in shifts to build houses for Habitat for Humanity. Take pledges (based on the length of time it takes Bonfire to fall, or other metrics) to raise money to fund scholarships or Bonfire-related research. Think of ways to safely involve the community (e.g. "mini Bonfire" for school kids).
- This is by no means a comprehensive list. Post your ideas here!
I guess my point is that we as a University really need to see this for what it is: a great engineering challenge, and a great challenge for our institution. There is a lot of glory to be had in safely building the world's largest and most spectacular bonfire. And we need to take up that challenge. Bonfire is the soul of this university; we either build it, or we die (= become t.u.). I, for one, can't bear to see that happen. Unfortunately there are a lot of Aggies nowadays who don't even know what they're missing. So it might be up to us old-timers to provide the initiative for this.
Now which of you old farts have both the can-do attitude and the leisure to take up the gauntlet?
The proposal would include:
- Plans to exceed all measurable standards met by previous Bonfires. Make it bigger and taller, but make it use half as much wood. Make it burn more brightly, but with less polution. Make it light faster, but stand up longer. Make it look bizzarrely precarious, but be ten times more structurally sound. Heck, put sodium and copper in there to give it red and green stripes. This is the part that will inspire people to
want to be part of the project. Make the proposal sufficiently ambitious, and you'll see faculty opposition evaporate, as they actually come to see the educational potential of the enterprise. Aside from that, this needs to be difficult engineering task, or you'll never get the most talented Aggies on board. Instead you end up with red pots "designing" the same thing that was built last year, only forgetting that those logs were angled inwards for a reason.
- Design a safe build site. You can't tell me that there is no way to safely build this thing. All you need is a little imagination and/or research. For example, build a large framework overarching the build site from which workers could be suspended on bungee cables, and yanked to safety at the first hint of a shift in any of the logs (detected by reflecting lasers off of them). Granted this may seem farfetched, but people have done far more farfetched things in great engineering projects of the past. Another example -- instead of using wires to connect the logs, design a more robust system of joints. I have no specific ideas here, but think tinker toys, legos, or Lincoln logs.
- Plans to institute required safety classes with a "Bonfire license" exam at the end. Make the test difficult, to weed out the people who are only interested in getting drunk. Make people go home if they fail.
- Outline a ridiculously over-diligent system of oversight and accountability, where all plans are scrutinized, and weaknesses can be identified and addressed immediately. This is the part to satisfy the lawyers and bureaucrats. Idea: Require every worker to understand the design, pass an exam testing this knowledge, and sign off his approval or make suggestions on how to improve the design.
- Include a section for long-term goals. Set goals for improving the design and procedures steadily over time. Designate metrics for evaluating long-term progress.
- Make Bonfire more politically palatable for non-Aggies. Send Bonfire crews in shifts to build houses for Habitat for Humanity. Take pledges (based on the length of time it takes Bonfire to fall, or other metrics) to raise money to fund scholarships or Bonfire-related research. Think of ways to safely involve the community (e.g. "mini Bonfire" for school kids).
- This is by no means a comprehensive list. Post your ideas here!
I guess my point is that we as a University really need to see this for what it is: a great engineering challenge, and a great challenge for our institution. There is a lot of glory to be had in safely building the world's largest and most spectacular bonfire. And we need to take up that challenge. Bonfire is the soul of this university; we either build it, or we die (= become t.u.). I, for one, can't bear to see that happen. Unfortunately there are a lot of Aggies nowadays who don't even know what they're missing. So it might be up to us old-timers to provide the initiative for this.
Now which of you old farts have both the can-do attitude and the leisure to take up the gauntlet?
