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Random shower thoughts

58,417 Views | 377 Replies | Last: 3 days ago by TXAG 05
one safe place
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NoahAg said:

Lex said:

I try to keep it to like 1 cat in the house because if you die a cat will eat you. A dog won't.

I don't think that's true. Dogs have been known to eat their dead owners.
Just was reading this thread and saw the bit about dogs eating their owners when they die. I know of one that did.

Had a guy living in the RV park who sort of disappeared. I put a rock on the passenger side tire to see if he was dodging me, but it never moved. After a couple of weeks his daughter called. I called where he worked, they said he hadn't worked there in a couple of weeks (about the time he disappeared). She called law enforcement, area hospitals, ambulance services, etc. Didn't find out anything. This all started around December 3rd.

Sheriff's deputy came out, walked around the RV. The guy had two small yip yap dogs, never heard them barking or anything, though they were tiny and not noisy so unless outside you would likely not hear them. During all this, a woman in Florida called; she was the owner of the RV and was renting it to this missing guy. Finally, the daughter filed a missing person's report, after I told her he was either dead inside the RV (but we couldn't smell anything) or had been kidnapped or been killed by someone who came and picked him up, since his pickup had been there.

On New Year's Eve, deputy shows up, we called the owner for permission to break the lock, and he did. I see him get a roll of that yellow crime scene tape and knew then he was dead inside. One of his yip yap dogs was dead, the other one was barely alive. It had been snacking on him for awhile. Never figured out where the dog was getting any water, it was not tall enough to drink out of the toilet, unless it jumped inside I guess, and don't see how it could even do that.

So yeah, they will eat you. One small bite at a time in this case.
Brian Earl Spilner
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AG
Saw someone say recently that we are all the product of rape.

Thinking about it, I think this might actually be true.

If you go far back enough, do you think one of your ancestors was raped, and without said rape, you would not exist?
AtticusMatlock
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On a similar note, it crosses my mind frequently when I see big groups of people that every single one of those people are alive because other people had sex. That's a lot of sex.
IIIHorn
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Why is the alphabet in that order?

Is it because of the song?
Ginormus Ag
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AG
You can make chees from cows, goats, sheep, water buffalo, horses, reindeer, yaks, camels, and alpacas milk.

Why not dogs or cats?
tandy miller
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AG
Ginormus Ag said:

You can make chees from cows, goats, sheep, water buffalo, horses, reindeer, yaks, camels, and alpacas milk.

Why not dogs or cats?


Why not humans?
FJB
maroon barchetta
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IIIHorn said:

Why is the alphabet in that order?

Is it because of the song?


Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?
maroon barchetta
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one safe place said:

NoahAg said:

Lex said:

I try to keep it to like 1 cat in the house because if you die a cat will eat you. A dog won't.

I don't think that's true. Dogs have been known to eat their dead owners.
Just was reading this thread and saw the bit about dogs eating their owners when they die. I know of one that did.

Had a guy living in the RV park who sort of disappeared. I put a rock on the passenger side tire to see if he was dodging me, but it never moved. After a couple of weeks his daughter called. I called where he worked, they said he hadn't worked there in a couple of weeks (about the time he disappeared). She called law enforcement, area hospitals, ambulance services, etc. Didn't find out anything. This all started around December 3rd.

Sheriff's deputy came out, walked around the RV. The guy had two small yip yap dogs, never heard them barking or anything, though they were tiny and not noisy so unless outside you would likely not hear them. During all this, a woman in Florida called; she was the owner of the RV and was renting it to this missing guy. Finally, the daughter filed a missing person's report, after I told her he was either dead inside the RV (but we couldn't smell anything) or had been kidnapped or been killed by someone who came and picked him up, since his pickup had been there.

On New Year's Eve, deputy shows up, we called the owner for permission to break the lock, and he did. I see him get a roll of that yellow crime scene tape and knew then he was dead inside. One of his yip yap dogs was dead, the other one was barely alive. It had been snacking on him for awhile. Never figured out where the dog was getting any water, it was not tall enough to drink out of the toilet, unless it jumped inside I guess, and don't see how it could even do that.

So yeah, they will eat you. One small bite at a time in this case.
Cromagnum
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AG
Lex said:

More than we expect, I'm sure.

I assume if I'm in a room with 10 people at least 3 have killed somebody.


Where the hell do you live? Geeze. I'm in a room with a few hundred people and have no suspicion that any of them has killed someone.
IIIHorn
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What is the difference between here and there?
Brian Earl Spilner
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AG
You.
BigPete3281
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On Seinfeld, in "The Big Salad" episode, Elaine and Jerry run into George and Julie in the street.

Jerry introduces Elaine to Julie who replies "oh! My middle name is Elaine!" To which Elaine quips "mine's Ike!" And everyone laughs and laughs.


WTF was the joke? Who is Ike?

Is it a Tina Turner thing? Is it about President Eisenhower? Am I over thinking it? Was it an editing error?

I wrestle with this a lot. Multiple showers.


Now who's going to come in and make me look stupid?

Wolfpac 08
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AG
There's no real joke with a setup and payoff here. Elaine's line is:

  • Deadpan absurdity. "Ike" is a traditionally male name, and an unexpected middle name for Elaine, which makes it sound absurd and sarcastic.
  • Unexpected reversal. Julie is trying to connect"We share the same name!"and Elaine responds with something deliberately un-relatable and bizarre.
  • Social discomfort + awkward humor. Classic Elaine move: undercutting faux intimacy with weird humor.

Seinfeld jokes often aren't about the content, but how a character derails a moment with something weird, inappropriate, or off-kilter. Elaine saying "Mine's Ike" is funny because:

  • It's not expected.
  • It's delivered seriously.
  • It makes no sense.
  • It creates social tension... then everyone just nervously laughs it off.
BigPete3281
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I choose to reject this premise as I find it far too anticlimactic.
IIIHorn
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Brian Earl Spilner said:

You.
Ha!

I assumed it was the letter 't'.
Ginormus Ag
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AG
If you are in a room of doctors 3 out of 10 have probably killed someone.
Wolfpac 08
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AG
If you're in a room full of dentists, 1 out of 10 probably didn't recommend your tooth brush
maroon barchetta
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Wolfpac 08 said:

If you're in a room full of dentists, 1 out of 10 probably didn't recommend your tooth brush


But four out of five recommended Trident.
IIIHorn
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If you are in a room of Scots 9 out of 10 have probably kilt someone.
Brian Earl Spilner
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AG
Who's the guy who started time? Like who's the guy who decided, ok, I'm about to hit start on the stopwatch on which the atomic clock will be based forevermore.
Anchorhold
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I've always thought that NASA is in Houston because of LBJ's political power, but I realized that it really just makes logical sense that if you're going to study those little lights in the sky it should be done where they are big and bright. That's probably obvious to most people.
YokelRidesAgain
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AG
Anchorhold said:

I've always thought that NASA is in Houston because of LBJ's political power, but I realized that it really just makes logical sense that if you're going to study those little lights in the sky it should be done where they are big and bright. That's probably obvious to most people.

Where, exactly, is (clapclapclapclap) deep in the heart of Texas?

It sure isn't fartass Houston, I know that.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Brian Earl Spilner
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AG
Your stomach is filled with vomit almost at all times.
AtticusMatlock
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In a few moments, one brave man will embark on a bold journey which may change the course of human history. We will finally know the answer to the question: What happens if Head and Shoulders touches skin below the shoulders?
The AntAGonist
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AG
- Who was the first person to eat a lobster? Who looked at THAT animal and thought, "I'm gonna put that in my mouth"? SAME WITH OYSTERS! I have thought this for so many creatures. In addition, who tried something poisonous and looked at everyone and said, "don't eat that." before they died?"


- Why do people eat ass? I know it can be squeaky clean and all, but… is the motivation because they just really love the person with whom the ass belongs to? Is this a fetish thing of putting dirty things in your mouth?

Because nerve endings. In the moment. yada yada.
BQ_90
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AG
Anchorhold said:

I've always thought that NASA is in Houston because of LBJ's political power, but I realized that it really just makes logical sense that if you're going to study those little lights in the sky it should be done where they are big and bright. That's probably obvious to most people.

many of the NASA facilities where located in the deep south because of politics to get the funding. Albert Thomas was on the house appropriations committee, he was the rep for Houston.

I'm sure that fact that land was pretty cheap back then surely helped too.

Google shows that they wanted it in educated area with Rice U and the sips close by, also the O&G industry being there helped.
Anchorhold
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It's a shame that alternative spellings of Stacey (Staysie, Staycee, Steigh-sea) never caught on. I bet plenty of guys these days would love to blast "Stacy's mom" in the school pickup line and actually mean it.
3rd Platoon
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AG
The opposite of Microsoft Office is Macrohard Onfire.
IIIHorn
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Brian Earl Spilner said:

Your stomach is filled with vomit almost at all times.

Please don't bring that up again.
IIIHorn
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I had no idea where sunlight came from until it finally dawned on me.
IIIHorn
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I turned down a job opportunity at a fire hydrant factory because I couldn't park anywhere near the place.
IIIHorn
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Have Chinese immigrants been disoriented?
3rd Platoon
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AG
When you clean a vacuum cleaner, aren't YOU the vacuum cleaner?
---------------------------------------
aka Commander 99 and "The Fake Dave South"
Emotional Support Cobra
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AG
Do ghosts watch you in the shower and on the toilet?
Wolfpac 08
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AG
3rd Platoon said:

When you clean a vacuum cleaner, aren't YOU the vacuum cleaner?
You ever cleaned a vacuum cleaner? That job sucks.
 
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