Is it moral and ethical to pray for the death of a loved one?

1,979 Views | 18 Replies | Last: 2 mo ago by PabloSerna
Champion of Fireball
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2:27p, 5/18/25
AG
My biggest concern is to not do anything that goes against an Amazing Living God who can do anything. I believe in a natural birth and natural death. I understand physical death in all possible ways. I've seen bullet, bombs, MVA, accidents, suicide, cancer and every other possible option.

When you know that we are no where close to "fixing it" how do you respond? My God. Father, Son and Holy Spirit can do anything. But I know God gave us a brain that led to scientific advances. We are not there yet for what is needed to cure it.

It kills me knowing nothing can be done.

A beautiful thing in life is being able to say is "I submit" but is praying for a merciful death allowed?
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BrazosDog02
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2:52p, 5/18/25
AG
I pray for quick deaths of people and animals all the time. For animals it's always because they are suffering and I can't help them. For people, that's also the case most of the time. However, I also support assisted suicide which is frowned upon by some of my religious friends.

I say it's ok as long as your heart is in the right place.

I watched my mother die of cancer over the course of 3 years and my prayers went unanswered so I'm not sure how fruitful efforts will be but I think it's ok anyway. It is morally right to pray for peace for someone, it matters not in what form that peace comes.
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Champion of Fireball
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In reply to BrazosDog02 • 2:54p, 5/18/25
AG
BrazosDog02 said:
I pray for quick deaths of people and animals all the time. For animals it's always because they are suffering and I can't help them. For people, that's also the case most of the time. However, I also support assisted suicide which is frowned upon by some of my religious friends.

I say it's ok as long as your heart is in the right place.


I just can't make that step to assisted suicide.

Not arguing because not in the frame of mind to do that. And please accept my thanks for responding.
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Champion of Fireball
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In reply to BrazosDog02 • 2:55p, 5/18/25
AG
BrazosDog02 said:
I pray for quick deaths of people and animals all the time. For animals it's always because they are suffering and I can't help them. For people, that's also the case most of the time. However, I also support assisted suicide which is frowned upon by some of my religious friends.

I say it's ok as long as your heart is in the right place.

I watched my mother die of cancer over the course of 3 years and my prayers went unanswered so I'm not sure how fruitful efforts will be but I think it's ok anyway.


God blessed my Mom with a very quick death from cancer.
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BrazosDog02
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In reply to Champion of Fireball • 2:56p, 5/18/25
AG
That's ok. That's not your question anyway. I was only saying that in case you needed a gauge as to my moral compass.

I say praying for quick death is ok. It's out of love. To relieve someone's pain. To bring them peace. If There is no other option then I see nothing wrong with it.

Maybe rather than praying directly for death, you could just pray for peace and the ending of their suffering. Leave the details up to the Lord?

There are a ton of fine people on this board with what it probably proper advice but I am a layman and make no claims to my expertise with religion and God.
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Decay
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7:40a, 5/19/25
AG
When I'm in a place of uncertainty in prayer I try to remember that we can ask God whatever we want, but in the end His Will be done. So I pray that I can discern it and accept it, moreso than Intercession. Our timeline is not the Heavenly one and if they are suffering, I remind myself we've never been called to a life free of pain and that I pray for the chance to one day glorify God through my own suffering.
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Rex Racer
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12:41p, 5/19/25
AG
I remember when my mom was dying of pancreatic cancer back in 2000, I kneeled at her bedside and prayed for God to "just take her". She had been in a lot of pain, and she was unconscious for several days at that point. God woke her back up for 3 days so we all got to spend some time with her and say our goodbyes. Then he mercifully took her home, while my Dad sat with her, holding her hand.

Nothing wrong with that, at all.
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Martin Q. Blank
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12:57p, 5/19/25
I guess we'd have to start by answering why death is a bad thing in the first place.
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Champion of Fireball
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In reply to Martin Q. Blank • 1:03p, 5/19/25
AG
It's not. Birth and death are 2 things all life does really well.
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Martin Q. Blank
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In reply to Champion of Fireball • 1:10p, 5/19/25
Death is not bad? I guess we're starting off on a completely different foot so of course the question of making a death quick for some reason would be impossible to answer.
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Rex Racer
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1:38p, 5/19/25
AG
Death is part of the curse brought about by the sin of man, so it is bad. Jesus came to defeat it.
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Champion of Fireball
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In reply to Rex Racer • 1:42p, 5/19/25
AG
Rex Racer said:
Death is part of the curse brought about by the sin of man, so it is bad. Jesus came to defeat it.
Is that spiritual death or physical death?
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Rex Racer
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In reply to Champion of Fireball • 2:25p, 5/19/25
AG
Champion of Fireball said:
Rex Racer said:
Death is part of the curse brought about by the sin of man, so it is bad. Jesus came to defeat it.
Is that spiritual death or physical death?
Ultimately, it's both. We still have to die our physical death, but Jesus will raise up those who believe in him at the end of the age. And we will never experience death again.
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CrackerJackAg
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9:28p, 5/20/25
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"And let us ask for a Christian end to our life, peaceful without shame and suffering, and for a good defense before the awesome judgment seat of Christ."

The Orthodox pray this every week during the liturgy.
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dermdoc
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In reply to Rex Racer • 6:44a, 5/21/25
AG
Rex Racer said:
Death is part of the curse brought about by the sin of man, so it is bad. Jesus came to defeat it.
Amen. Scripture agrees with you.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
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dermdoc
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In reply to Rex Racer • 6:45a, 5/21/25
AG
Rex Racer said:
Champion of Fireball said:
Rex Racer said:
Death is part of the curse brought about by the sin of man, so it is bad. Jesus came to defeat it.
Is that spiritual death or physical death?
Ultimately, it's both. We still have to die our physical death, but Jesus will raise up those who believe in him at the end of the age. And we will never experience death again.
Another amen. I believe all will be raised and judged. And the believers will dwell in the New Jerusalem in the presence of God forever. Hallelujah!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
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B-1 83
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In reply to Champion of Fireball • 4:13p, 5/23/25
AG
Champion of Fireball said:
My biggest concern is to not do anything that goes against an Amazing Living God who can do anything. I believe in a natural birth and natural death. I understand physical death in all possible ways. I've seen bullet, bombs, MVA, accidents, suicide, cancer and every other possible option.

When you know that we are no where close to "fixing it" how do you respond? My God. Father, Son and Holy Spirit can do anything. But I know God gave us a brain that led to scientific advances. We are not there yet for what is needed to cure it.

It kills me knowing nothing can be done.

A beautiful thing in life is being able to say is "I submit" but is praying for a merciful death allowed?
If course it is! Many a time I prayed for a merciful death for Teacher Wife '82 after watching her agony for 33 months. Praying for mercy is as humane and Christ-like as it comes.
Being in TexAgs jail changes a man……..no, not really
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AgBQ-00
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10:55a, 5/25/25
AG
My g-grandmom was very sick just before she passed and one of her daughters was praying fervently for healing. G-grandmom told all of them that she'd be much better off if one of them would stop praying. She passed the next morning.

When my uncle had a stroke which was really severe we prayed for healing to his ability before the stroke or for Christ to call him home. He recovered and, for 6 months was able to reconcile some estranged relationships. Then he passed peacefully.
God loves you so much He'll meet you where you are. He also loves you too much to allow to stay where you are.

We sing Hallelujah! The Lamb has overcome!
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PabloSerna
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4:45p, 5/25/25
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The Catholic Church answers this particular question with the value of what is called "salvific suffering".

This is an incredibly hard understanding to live out and I hope I can live this out when my time comes. However, it makes perfect sense when aligned with the teaching of purgatory. As scripture reminds us in Mt 6:19-21

" 19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

+++

One other point- when I began to contemplate this understanding is how only then can human suffering make sense. Jesus freely chose to suffer on the cross for us- think about that for a bit.
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