I'm going to pull a Redstone here but, I've been saying this for years. I dont like bullies, I wasn't a bully, and I was bullied some in elementary but nothing big. Actually, I fought back to a guy who bullied me and I gained a ton of respect. Not to mention I became friends with that bully and still am 40 years later.

The problem is that zero tolerance policies have created an environment where fighting back gets you in just as much trouble, and the kids getting bullied are typically the good ones who actually follow the rules. Bullies don't care and are often not punished anyway unless they go too far, but that just means those they bully have to deal with constant low level harassment and antagonism. In today's world of social media, that extends being the school day and into nights, weekends, and summer breaks. That means that learning to deal with has turned into suffering through it with no good way to fight back or do anything about it. All that serves to do is instill hopelessness and anger in kids who are not emotionally mature, and that will eventually manifest itself in violence, resentment, hatred, or a combination thereof against what they view as a system of oppression.

They will turn to wherever they find belonging, and that will often be fringe groups like anarchists or the alphabet activists because, like a cult, they'll take anyone, but they thrive on those who are disaffected or feel out of place.

The TLDR is that if you want kids to learn to deal with bullies and build their resiliency and emotional fortitude, you actually have to let them.

Bullying is a natural human trait and the idea that it can somehow be stopped is stupid.

Every species (for the most part anyway) has some form of bullying. It keeps everybody between the lines, so to speak, when it comes to social norms. It teaches young ones how to handle less than ideal situations, it teaches young males especially how to fight and survive.

It can absolutely go too far, and has in many occasions where kids essentially bullied some poor kid into killing themselves. But those are far and away the exceptions to the rule and a whole lot went wrong for that type of situation to happen.

The zero tolerance mentality is one of the single worst things that has ever pervaded society and how we teach kids. It is a lazy way of doing things that does nothing but kick the can down the road in perpetuity.

Social media has definitely made this worse. Anyone can be an internet bad ass. It also makes it easier for others to pile on to be part of the cool crowd.

It's so much different than the old days. I don't know how a kid is supposed to deal with that.

I was bullied as a kid and it was a living hell and do not tolerate it now. I work with a former bully. He would run his mouth about fitness, bar fights and all kinds of nonsense. So me and a few other coworkers invited him to our jiu jitsu class for a workout. After getting his ass worked over by men and women, he faked an injury after about 30 minutes and since that day, he has been nothing but professional and courteous. That was 3.5 years ago. What's funny is that people I work with that have kids that go to school with his kids say that since then the kids have made positive changes in behavior too. Ended up being a win for everyone.

Hoyt Ag said:

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I was bullied as a kid and it was a living hell and do not tolerate it now. I work with a former bully. He would run his mouth about fitness, bar fights and all kinds of nonsense. So me and a few other coworkers invited him to our jiu jitsu class for a workout. After getting his ass worked over by men and women, he faked an injury after about 30 minutes and since that day, he has been nothing but professional and courteous. That was 3.5 years ago. What's funny is that people I work with that have kids that go to school with his kids say that since then the kids have made positive changes in behavior too. Ended up being a win for everyone.

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Taekwondon't

Detmersdislocatedshoulder said:

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as an observation i would say bullying served a purpose for society. it kept the fringe nut jobs in like to conform to societal norms. getti mg rid of it is a positive for those who were bullied but comes with a detriment to society as a whole.

i will also say bullying has changed dramatically since most of us were kids. it used to be physical now it is much more socia lol media driven.

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If I had a time machine, I wouldn't go back and prevent bullying I was subjected to in gradeschool. I'd just inform myself how to gain skills to prevent it. I really wish I started wrestling in Jr High when my dad first suggested it. A dislocated shoulder or tempoorary blood/airflow stoppage will really take the wind out of Bully's sails.

Detmersdislocatedshoulder said:

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as an observation i would say bullying served a purpose for society. it kept the fringe nut jobs in like to conform to societal norms. getti mg rid of it is a positive for those who were bullied but comes with a detriment to society as a whole.

i will also say bullying has changed dramatically since most of us were kids. it used to be physical now it is much more socia lol media driven.

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Shame does that.

Bullies are usually the fringe nut job *****es that prey on perceived weakness. They don't enforce social norms.

Bullies either grow up or go on to be a-holes. They are needed though to stand up.

The 2 bullies that went after me in middle and high school dies in their 30's. I call it Karma.

I used to say that I was in favor of bringing back bullying, but I am not sure we need to go that far. We just need to make it not a felony to punch people in the nose again. People are much more careful with their actions and their words when the consequences include a bloody nose or the embarrassment of getting your ass kicked.

Want to get rid of the Furries in schools? Turn the bullies loose.

I was bullied in 7th and 8th grade, thanks to my Dad being transferred mid year in 7th grade to NYC. I was already in advanced classes so they put me in those. Not just smart kids but smart aleck kids where slip fights (insults) were common.

First few weeks, I would come home crying everyday as it seemed everybody hated me.I was an easy target given the times. Smart, very tall for my age (taller than a lot of the boys, in fact) had a Texas accent, Dad worked for large oil company. Did I mention there was a oil embargo going on?

Everyday, I would walk into class and there would be a joke at my expense written on the black board and the class would laugh as I came in. Teachers did nothing.

It was my Mom who taught me what she called moxie, how to not flinch nor to take the taunts seriously and they would stop when I didn't react. But that wasn't enough for me. I practiced some insults of my own and gave as good as I got. Most people learned pretty quickly that I could and would but them down to size. That experience really toughened me up and probably ended up being the reason I went into law. Using my words to make points.

Bonus story, Dad was transferred back to Texas and I am at A&M dating a guy from the Houston area. He has a little brother also at A&M who had a friend of his from HS as his roommate. That HS friend was one of my chief tormentors from junior high. His Dad had been transferred to Houston after junior high, unbeknownst to me. When that guy heard my name, he was scared that my boyfriend would beat the hell outta him for how he had treated me. When I found out who he was, I just laughed. "You think I have given you a second of thought since junior high? Get real!"

My older boys have said this for years... Bring Back Bullying.

In the 80s, no way someone would be a furry, a dude wear a dress to school, or a dude paint his fingernails, etc
They would have been heckled by everyone.

Now there is no bullying and schools can't hold kids accountable for anything.

Our local schools just gave up on the guys no long hair and no facial hair policy in the last few years after having it probably 100 years. The mad parents got together and did a multi-year lawsuit and the school ISD finally gave up. Heard it is happening everywhere.

Kids wear cat ears and tails to school and normal kids get in trouble if they say ANYTHING.

Boy we know got in trouble when teacher divide the room by boys and girls for a game and he spoke up and said that so-so was not a boy (cause 2 years ago she wasn't).

This is in Magnolia, and Montgomery county is in the top 5-10 most conservative counties in Texas.

Some of you internet tough guys are too pathetic for words.

So when my 70 pound 5th grade daughter was being bullied horrifically by a classmate who outweighed her by more than triple... that was a good thing? Just stand up for yourself and punch her, right?

And when I was beaten to the point of an emergency room visit in the 7th grade by 5 kids who didn't like my race... that was to the benefit of society? Right?

Give me a break.

Stive said:

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Want to get rid of the Furries in schools? Turn the bullies loose.

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Let me guess? You know someone who knows someone whose kid goes to school where they keep litter boxes in the bathroom.

aggiez03 said:

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My older boys have said this for years... Bring Back Bullying.

In the 80s, no way someone would be a furry, a dude wear a dress to school, or a dude paint his fingernails, etc
They would have been heckled by everyone.

Now there is no bullying and schools can't hold kids accountable for anything.

Our local schools just gave up on the guys no long hair and no facial hair policy in the last few years after having it probably 100 years. The mad parents got together and did a multi-year lawsuit and the school ISD finally gave up. Heard it is happening everywhere.

Kids wear cat ears and tails to school and normal kids get in trouble if they say ANYTHING.

Boy we know got in trouble when teacher divide the room by boys and girls for a game and he spoke up and said that so-so was not a boy (cause 2 years ago she wasn't).

This is in Magnolia, and Montgomery county is in the top 5-10 most conservative counties in Texas.

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Did the long hair and facial hair keep them from learning? Behaving? If not, shut the hell up.

Stop with the stupid furry moral panic.

SunrayAg said:

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Some of you internet tough guys are too pathetic for words.

So when my 70 pound 5th grade daughter was being bullied horrifically by a classmate who outweighed her by more than triple... that was a good thing? Just stand up for yourself and punch her, right?

And when I was beaten to the point of an emergency room visit in the 7th grade by 5 kids who didn't like my race... that was to the benefit of society? Right?

Give me a break.

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That's not bullying. That's getting jumped and ganged up on. Two completely different things.

What you'll find is that most people were bullied in one form or another - it is simply how the human race matures, especially adolescent boys. I was bullied pretty bad in 7th grade by a guy that everybody thought was an absolute badass, and I was more terrified of getting in trouble for fighting at school from my parents than I really was of anything else. So I didn't push back like I should have.

Towards the end of the year it escalated and he sucker punched me in PE class. Much to his surprise I didn't go down like most other kids he fought did and instead turned around and stared at him then asked if he got it out of his system or not, and if not then we were going to throw down and I was going to beat it out of his system. We never had to throw down and he never bothered me again after that. We even became friends to a degree.

My oldest daughter was bullied in junior high. My wife and I hated it, but we also both knew we couldn't jump in to try to stop it or protect her. Instead we worked with her on how to deal with it and spent a lot of time with her through the crappy times. She learned how to handle things better, how to give back when needed and how to drive a couple of them batsht crazy by simply ignoring their comments. She definitely came out on the better end of things, but it absolutely suuuuuucked going through that time, without a doubt.

We could have made a big deal out of it, gone to the school complaining, thrown the girls under the bus for the things they said and did - but it wouldnt' have fixed the problem. Probably would have made it worse in reality. Almost all of those girls are completely different now and most of them at one point or another have told my daughter they were sorry for being the buttholes the were back then.

My son and I have similar deformities.

Back when he was old would to cub scouts for the first time we had our first incident of bullying. This kid kept touching my kid and I was waiting for his father to say something to put a stop to it. He didn't. So I leaned over and got real close to the father and quietly told him if his kid touches my kid one more time without the father saying something I was going to stab the father with a pencil that I was holding in my hand.

Now I didn't saying this like I was upset. Nope. You might of thought I was happy to see him with the smile on my face. We stared ate each other a little longer and he quietly got up and grabbed his kid and went to the other side of the room.

The truth is….i almost stabbed him when he initially flenched to grab his kid.

Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:

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Stive said:

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Want to get rid of the Furries in schools? Turn the bullies loose.

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Let me guess? You know someone who knows someone whose kid goes to school where they keep litter boxes in the bathroom.

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As far as I can tell, the litter box thing is (presumably) an urban legend. Maybe there was one school that did something stupid like this, and the far right wing ran with it like they do with TONS of stuff when it comes to public schools.

At the HS where my kids attend, there are kids that wear cat ears, hiss at students in the hall, make "cat scratching motions" towards other students when they look at them weird, or speak to them in the lunch room, etc. And I'm not in a blue state...I'm in a mid-sized district in East Texas.

This kind of behavior started around 3rd or 4th grade at the elementary campus and continued through JH. It's a subjective guess, but I don't think it would have happened 30-40 years ago because the playground would have been a filtering process for this stuff. They would have gotten teased a bit messed with some, or some big redneck dummy classmate of mine would have pulled the ears off their head and not given them back.

A certain amount of peer-pressure isn't all bad if it's for the right reasons and helps establish certain societal norms and guidelines.

Ridding our society of bullies would negate the training regimen of our armed forces going back over a century. Bullies (drill sergeants/ instructors) serve the purpose of making young recruits deal with situations beyond their control and develop strategies for coping.

Stive said:

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Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:

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Stive said:

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Want to get rid of the Furries in schools? Turn the bullies loose.

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Let me guess? You know someone who knows someone whose kid goes to school where they keep litter boxes in the bathroom.

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As far as I can tell, the litter box thing is (presumably) an urban legend. Maybe there was one school that did something stupid like this, and the far right wing ran with it like they do with TONS of stuff when it comes to public schools.

At the HS where my kids attend, there are kids that wear cat ears, hiss at students in the hall, make "cat scratching motions" towards other students when they look at them weird, or speak to them in the lunch room, etc. And I'm not in a blue state...I'm in a mid-sized district in East Texas.

This kind of behavior started around 3rd or 4th grade at the elementary campus and continued through JH. It's a subjective guess, but I don't think it would have happened 30-40 years ago because the playground would have been a filtering process for this stuff. They would have gotten teased a bit messed with some, or some big redneck dummy classmate of mine would have pulled the ears off their head and not given them back.

A certain amount of peer-pressure isn't all bad if it's for the right reasons and helps establish certain societal norms and guidelines.

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Weird kids have been around for how long? They were the goth kids when I was in school. Most of their behavior was attention-seeking, which is the same with the cat ears and such. Those aren't the furries that people are worried about. In my experience, every person I know that talks about furries starts with the bathroom bull*****

And I just don't ****ing care if they do that. 99% of them are going to outgrow that **** and will be weird in other ways. Weirdos have always existed. Whether it be swingers, furries, fundamentalists, sports fans, and so on. Bullying isn't going to stop that.

I do appreciate you taking the time to respond rationally.

In both cases I experienced bullying I was able to win.

First time, I was beyond sick of the bs and just lost it. I won the conflict handily .

Second time, the kid was constantly taunting me and menacing me with his chow dogs. One day he was on our property, close to our house, so I let my German Shepherd out and he chased them back home.

In both situations I never heard nor saw of them again.

Ahhh the 1980s …. What a time to be alive.

Point being is you gotta make a stand. You might lose. You might win.

But if the bully knows that every time he comes at you it is going to be a nasty pain in the ass fight ( that he may lose) they will quit because it isn't worth it.

These days that would get you a suspension and possible assault charges in the first case. In the second, you might get cops at your door and your dog put down.

My original comment using "furries" was more of a catch-all for the kids that people (students included) get bothered by.

Weird kids have been around forever, no doubt. There have also always been bullies and there always will be; they just change their tactics. Pecking orders get established in thousands of different ways by every species on the planet. More often than not, it has to do with some aspect of strength. The pecking order of the playground, and in many ways the neighborhood, or village, or kingdom has pretty much always been: when someone is strong enough to do something they will. And when the weak are tired of getting pushed around, they align themselves with a powerful ally (allies) to level the playing field or tip the scales entirely. It's part of life, politics, business, you name it.

In 5th grade, my best friend and I got bullied mercilessly by a freshman in HS for a couple of weeks while riding the school bus, for no other reason than the big idiot was bigger than we were and enjoyed it. It ended when my neighbor, who who was also in HS and typically rode home with a friend from school, ended up on the bus one day when he didn't have his normal ride home. He saw the other guy being abusive to my friend and I and beat the holy hell out of him. Despite that being the only day my neighbor rode the bus, the bullying stopped and never happened again.

You're not going to completely reign in the weird and extremes. You're 100% correct. But you'll mute it to some extent and limit the extremes of the bell curve. And in many ways, that's usually a good thing for societies as a whole.

Yep . The 80's were awesome.

El Gallo Blanco said:

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I still think lack of involved fathers and strong male role models is one of the greatest epidemics plaguing our country, behind white liberal women.

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So liberal woman caused both of the biggest epidemics plaguing our country.

trip said:

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El Gallo Blanco said:

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I still think lack of involved fathers and strong male role models is one of the greatest epidemics plaguing our country, behind white liberal women.

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So liberal woman caused both of the biggest epidemics plaguing our country.

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Kids of single mothers have the highest levels of crime and mental health issues. Liberal woman themselves have the highest number of mental health disorders, and this is proven by data and studies.


Kids from these households are cooked

Bullying will always be around. And I do think kids should be allowed to push back on bullies.

But there is a difference between normal taunting that all kids do and the 24/7 harassment that kids can endure now with texting and social media.

I don't think anyone would do well mentally even as an adult if they were crapped on all day at work/church/etc and upon going home, those same people were posting about what a loser you were on social media. While all your coworkers join in. And tomorrow you have to wake up and go to the same job again. Sounds ridiculous as an adult but this is the life some kids lead nowadays. That's not healthy or constructive to anyone.

rocky the dog said:

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lol! I remember when the head of the upper school pulled me out of class after a lunch time fight. He asked me what happened and then whether I won. I said yes and he said "good. Go back to class."