How did/will you make your decision to retire? SIAP

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Waiting on a Natty
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In reply to jja79 • 7:17p, 8/19/25
AG
I didn't know MD Anderson had a location in Phoenix.

And pancreatic cancer is evil. I lost 2 life long friends from that in a 15 month stretch just a little over one year ago.

And yes, you are spot on with your equation of time, health and money.
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BDJ_AG
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In reply to stonksock • 8:07p, 8/19/25
AG
This was my Dad. He got laid off in 2018 at age 66, about a month before he turned 67. He said he wanted to work until age 70 and began looking for another job. He and my mom never saved much, but I went through all of their finances with him and was able to convince him that he had "enough" to retire from corporate America. 2 years and 3 weeks later he suffered a head injury (much longer story) and he was gone. I am so thankful that he walked away when he did and got to spend that time with my mom. They had so many more travel plans that never happened.

I am not sure when my "enough" will be, but I don't plan for it to be past age 60, and hopefully it can be sooner.
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bagger05
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8:25p, 8/19/25
AG
Another half of this equation is accepting the personal responsibility for finding work that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose.

Statistically speaking, we all have a decent chance of "dying at our desk." Or passing away within a few years of hanging it up.

If someone spent 40 years doing a job they hated and then died a year after they retired, would they have been wise to hang it up a little earlier? Yes. Would they have been wise to find work to do that they didn't hate? Also yes.

Reality for almost all of us is that we are going to spend a lot of our life working. And the reality for almost all of us is that it's largely a means to an end. But man, you're gonna spend a whole lot of your life working. May as well love what you do.
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jja79
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In reply to Waiting on a Natty • 10:49p, 8/19/25
AG
One in Phoenix and another in Gilbert. This person was healthy 2 months ago and now it's just a ticking clock. There will be a lot of chased money left over but not any additional time that money can buy.
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AgOutsideAustin
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In reply to bagger05 • 6:38a, 8/20/25
AG
Loving what you do for work is great, if you can find that type of job. But also remember, you are just a cog in the wheel. You are nothing special, your job position and the company will go on without you just fine, and you are definitely replaceable. I'm traveling right now the last two weeks with my replacement who is moving from another territory and is taking over mine. I'm telling him some of the conversations I've been having with my customers about my retirement. I explained to him all the different types of reactions I received. After this conversation, he told me yeah, but when I tell my customers that I'm leaving my phone's gonna be blowing up because they're gonna be very mad. I just thought to myself you didn't hear a word we just said, they are not gonna be mad, and you need to get over your sense of self worth, they will move on to the next guy.


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DannyDuberstein
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6:49a, 8/20/25
AG
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows
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TXTransplant
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In reply to bagger05 • 7:03a, 8/20/25
I actually really enjoy what I do. Love is a strong word - there is a reason I have to be paid to do it.

But most of us don't have the luxury of being self-employed. We work for a corporation or large entity and are at the behest of its management.

As much as I enjoy what I do, my career has not been easy. I've experienced workplace violence, bankruptcy, awful "office politics", and layoffs - all of which were completely out of my control. Those things were manageable in my 20s and 30s, but as I approach my 50s and am closer in years to my retirement than the start of my career, I'm just freaking tired and running out of patience.

Everyone experiences stress, and even in a career or job you love, that stress takes a toll. I still give it my best effort, but really I just want to leverage where I am now in tenure and salary so I'm not still a slave to my paycheck into my late 50s and 60s.

I had a previous supervisor who used to say her goal was to "have enough" so she could retire when she'd "had enough".

I'll also add that I had no idea how much my career/work motivation was driven by my son and the financial responsibilities that come with having a kid. Now that he's in college (set to graduate next summer), I have found that a lot of my drive is gone. I've shared in other posts that I'm a single mom and the sole breadwinner. Once he is financially independent, I just won't need as much, and I will be happy to let go of the stress that comes with being "head of household".
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stonksock
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In reply to DannyDuberstein • 8:15a, 8/20/25
When ever anyone tells me how important they are at their work and how things would completely fall apart if they left, I think to myself "I hope he is being compensated like that is true."

I can agree with the other side though. If you have a job where you get to call the shots and see your decisions make an impact, that would be hard to walk away from. I never got there in my career and getting moved out of an office back to a cubicle after a re-org was my signal to hang it up. I was lucky to retire into a bull market and in the last two years of being retired my net worth has increased by about 7x what I was earning at the end of my career despite taking withdrawals from the nestegg. I would be slightly richer if I had kept working but I wouldn't have gone on those 9 vacations or spent as much time in the gym like I have these last two years.
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DannyDuberstein
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8:17a, 8/20/25
AG
Yeah, everyone is replaceable. My career is close to 30 years old now and I've heard that about a number of people who later left. Life always moves on. Always.
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YouBet
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In reply to DannyDuberstein • 8:19a, 8/20/25
AG
DannyDuberstein said:
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows


Agreed. "Do what you love" is an illusion and has been a disservice to a couple of generations now. Most of us do not have a raw talent that can be monetized. It's as if we decided that the bell curve does not exist and everyone can be in the right tail.

For those people who have a talent that can be monetized, then good for them. I'm jealous because I have no such talent.

For the rest of us, you lean on hard work and persistence, being smart with money, and a little luck.
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Hoyt Ag
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In reply to YouBet • 8:31a, 8/20/25
AG
YouBet said:
DannyDuberstein said:
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows


Agreed. "Do what you love" is an illusion and has been a disservice to a couple of generations now. Most of us do not have a raw talent that can be monetized. It's as if we decided that the bell curve does not exist and everyone can be in the right tail.

For those people who have a talent that can be monetized, then good for them. I'm jealous because I have no such talent.

For the rest of us, you lean on hard work and persistence, being smart with money, and a little luck.

Preach. My professional specialty is running large refineries and power plants. I am damn good at it. Hard to monetize that outside the plant walls. Luckily it pays extremely well at my level and has afforded me a great life.
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TXTransplant
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In reply to stonksock • 8:49a, 8/20/25
stonksock said:
When ever anyone tells me how important they are at their work and how things would completely fall apart if they left, I think to myself "I hope he is being compensated like that is true."

I can agree with the other side though. If you have a job where you get to call the shots and see your decisions make an impact, that would be hard to walk away from. I never got there in my career and getting moved out of an office back to a cubicle after a re-org was my signal to hang it up. I was lucky to retire into a bull market and in the last two years of being retired my net worth has increased by about 7x what I was earning at the end of my career despite taking withdrawals from the nestegg. I would be slightly richer if I had kept working but I wouldn't have gone on those 9 vacations or spent as much time in the gym like I have these last two years.


This happened to me a few months back. 20+ years in an office, and now I'm in a tiny cubicle, rushing to find a phone/huddle room multiple times a day so I can take calls.

I'd be lying if I didn't say this affects my work morale.
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Texag5324
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In reply to AgOutsideAustin • 9:02a, 8/20/25
AgOutsideAustin said:
Loving what you do for work is great, if you can find that type of job. But also remember, you are just a cog in the wheel. You are nothing special, your job position and the company will go on without you just fine, and you are definitely replaceable. I'm traveling right now the last two weeks with my replacement who is moving from another territory and is taking over mine. I'm telling him some of the conversations I've been having with my customers about my retirement. I explained to him all the different types of reactions I received. After this conversation, he told me yeah, but when I tell my customers that I'm leaving my phone's gonna be blowing up because they're gonna be very mad. I just thought to myself you didn't hear a word we just said, they are not gonna be mad, and you need to get over your sense of self worth, they will move on to the next guy.



Both things can be true. His customers could be mad/sad hes leaving but will ultimately forget about him in a few weeks or months. Ive left companies before where old coworkers would constantly reach out to me and tell me how much they missed me and the new person they hired sucked lol. Ive also had old bosses reach out to me wanting to hire me back for more money because they saw the impact that me leaving had. Ultimately, they all moved on and forgot about me eventually and hired the next corporate drone.

Although, I do agree that people who are afraid to leave companies because they think the department/boss will fall apart without them and they are the glue to keeping everything together, are very naive. Everyone is replaceable. Always look out for yourself first because your company certainly will.

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bagger05
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In reply to YouBet • 9:21a, 8/20/25
AG
YouBet said:
DannyDuberstein said:
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows


Agreed. "Do what you love" is an illusion and has been a disservice to a couple of generations now. Most of us do not have a raw talent that can be monetized. It's as if we decided that the bell curve does not exist and everyone can be in the right tail.

For those people who have a talent that can be monetized, then good for them. I'm jealous because I have no such talent.

For the rest of us, you lean on hard work and persistence, being smart with money, and a little luck.

I think you're taking a very narrow view on talent. Being good at analysis, design, teaching, welding, management, or personal interactions might not sell out stadiums but it's still talent. Monetizing talent is basically what everyone who has a paying job is doing.

And I agree that "do what you love" is bad advice. "Love what you do" on the other hand I think is quite useful. Old advice but when it comes to love, the feeling is the result of the verb.

Basically everyone I know that is "doing what they love" got to that point by putting some passion into what they were doing rather than finding a job they were passionate about. I believe this also applies to people who get paid a ton of money to do things other people do as a hobby (performers, athletes, etc).
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Texag5324
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In reply to bagger05 • 9:30a, 8/20/25
bagger05 said:
YouBet said:
DannyDuberstein said:
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows


Agreed. "Do what you love" is an illusion and has been a disservice to a couple of generations now. Most of us do not have a raw talent that can be monetized. It's as if we decided that the bell curve does not exist and everyone can be in the right tail.

For those people who have a talent that can be monetized, then good for them. I'm jealous because I have no such talent.

For the rest of us, you lean on hard work and persistence, being smart with money, and a little luck.

I think you're taking a very narrow view on talent. Being good at analysis, design, teaching, welding, management, or personal interactions might not sell out stadiums but it's still talent. Monetizing talent is basically what everyone who has a paying job is doing.

And I agree that "do what you love" is bad advice. "Love what you do" on the other hand I think is quite useful. Old advice but when it comes to love, the feeling is the result of the verb.

Basically everyone I know that is "doing what they love" got to that point by putting some passion into what they were doing rather than finding a job they were passionate about. I believe this also applies to people who get paid a ton of money to do things other people do as a hobby (performers, athletes, etc).

I always tell people do what you are good at. If you become really good at something, then chances are you can make a lot of money doing it. The hard part is figuring out what you are good at, especially when you are young and dont have a lot of life/work experience. I think thats why its important to try out different jobs in HS and college and see what you like and dont like.
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bagger05
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In reply to DannyDuberstein • 9:40a, 8/20/25
AG
DannyDuberstein said:
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows

Anyone telling you to "follow your passion" is probably already rich.

Like I said in another post, I think "do what you love" is misleading and unhelpful. "Love what you do" I think is great advice.

I share this article with people a lot when discussing this subject. It's by Mark Manson (author of The Subtle Art of not Giving a F###) and it's in his irreverent style.

7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose

My favorite two takeaways:

- Rather than asking what you're passionate about, it's probably more relevant to ask what you can tolerate. Everything sucks sometimes. If you can't stomach the idea of rejection, don't be an artist, etc. Whatever you want to do for a living comes with a cost and be honest about whether you're willing to pay it.

- Many people take too superficial of a view of what they like to do. His example is that he loves video games, so some people might say "you should go work at a video game company." But what he really loves ABOUT video games was the challenge of mastery, improvement, and competition which opened up a lot of other ideas about a career.
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DannyDuberstein
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In reply to Texag5324 • 9:41a, 8/20/25
AG
Yeah, that fits into what I mean by "comfort zone". You understand, you're good at it, etc. Sets you up to bring value but also not hate it.
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htxag09
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10:56a, 8/20/25
AG
I agree with the thought of doing what you love not really being realistic.

The only caveat I will give is some people love working. My great grandfather was this way. He was happier working than when he retired, so he went back. Could he have found that purpose and drive that work made him feel in something less demanding like volunteering, hobbies, an investment, etc.? Probably, but he didn't feel like looking for it, he just knew he felt it at his workplace.
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Diggity
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In reply to htxag09 • 11:04a, 8/20/25
AG
probably also has a lot to do with how much you like your family
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htxag09
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In reply to Diggity • 12:52p, 8/20/25
AG
Diggity said:
probably also has a lot to do with how much you like your family

Probably the most important factor....
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Waiting on a Natty
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12:53p, 8/20/25
AG
One thing I take away from this discussion is I am certainly glad I was never part of corporate America.
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TXTransplant
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In reply to Waiting on a Natty • 2:34p, 8/20/25
Waiting on a Natty said:
One thing I take away from this discussion is I am certainly glad I was never part of corporate America.


I've been in academia, a start up company, and corporate America. My take away after 20+ years is no place is without its drama and stress.
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YouBet
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In reply to bagger05 • 2:38p, 8/20/25
AG
bagger05 said:
YouBet said:
DannyDuberstein said:
I think it's important to find something that is at least in your comfort zone. That said, I feel like if I did anything 40-50+ hours per week for years, I'm going to get sick of it. I get what "do what you love" advice is striving for and it's fantastic if that exists, but I think it also leads to a lot of kids listlessly spinning their wheels in college, their 20s, and sometimes the rest of their careers searching for it while bearing financial hardship that comes with that. And then you get here with little retirement savings and having missed out on a lot of other opportunities in your personal life that financial freedom allows


Agreed. "Do what you love" is an illusion and has been a disservice to a couple of generations now. Most of us do not have a raw talent that can be monetized. It's as if we decided that the bell curve does not exist and everyone can be in the right tail.

For those people who have a talent that can be monetized, then good for them. I'm jealous because I have no such talent.

For the rest of us, you lean on hard work and persistence, being smart with money, and a little luck.

I think you're taking a very narrow view on talent. Being good at analysis, design, teaching, welding, management, or personal interactions might not sell out stadiums but it's still talent. Monetizing talent is basically what everyone who has a paying job is doing.

And I agree that "do what you love" is bad advice. "Love what you do" on the other hand I think is quite useful. Old advice but when it comes to love, the feeling is the result of the verb.

Basically everyone I know that is "doing what they love" got to that point by putting some passion into what they were doing rather than finding a job they were passionate about. I believe this also applies to people who get paid a ton of money to do things other people do as a hobby (performers, athletes, etc).


Kind of already addressed but I'm referring to the people who just nonchalantly tell others to "just do what you love" without factoring the reality of actually trying to do it. In many cases, whatever that is may be an esoteric thing, has zero demand, or is not relevant to anyone but you. The lens of reality is not factored and these people end up flailing in life as a result.

Agree on "love what you do". That can also mean you are settling but at least find something fulfilling in that job that keeps your blood pumping.
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TXTransplant
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In reply to YouBet • 2:45p, 8/20/25
My way of thinking of it, and the advice I've given my kid, is find something you're good at.

He's studying engineering because he's good at math and science, and he likes problem solving. He's smart enough to be challenged by what he's learning without being completely frustrated by it. Takes after me in that respect.

It's also a decently well-paying career path, and I've also always told him to choose something that gives him the financial freedom to pursue his other interests.

At the end of the day, it's still work, which is why they have to pay us to show up. But if you can get a certain amount of personal satisfaction and/or sense of accomplishment from what you do every day, then it's more than just a job.
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stonksock
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In reply to bagger05 • 3:03p, 8/20/25
I agree with reframing finding your passion to be find a skill you do better than most people and take fulfillment in doing that thing very well.

That being said I can't help but think it's sour grapes when people say they want to work "to a productive member of society", "set a good example for my kids" or "because its my passion".

I am sure there are a few examples of people who are like that but they are likely in a high level role or the business owner. The rest failed to save enough and are just rationalizing their situation or their identity is too tied up with their job and they are afraid of who they are without their job title.
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agracer
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3:32p, 8/20/25
AG
I only got halfway thru this thread but WOW, some of you all waited a long time to have kids. I can't imagine being 60 and still having a kid in HS or even College.

55 and all my kids are out with a degree, no debt, jobs and a reliable automobile that's also paid for.

Wife was stay at home mom for 16 years but when college was looming went back to work to help kids with college and we always maxed our savings. Switched to her company health plan 2 years ago. Met with our advisor and he ran the numbers and said if I wanted to retire now and wife wants to keep working for 5 more years, we can absolutely do that and he even thru in a $20k/yr travel budget. Put us on healthcare.gov at 60 then Medicare + advantage at 65 and we'll be fine. That was without SSI which will be gravy.

Said if wife wants to stop next year, would work as well but would have to cut back on some of the spending to account for her lost income over the next 5 years. Hell, the tax savings of me stopping work is worth a lot as well.
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txaggie_08
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In reply to agracer • 3:35p, 8/20/25
AG
My wife and I didn't meet until we were 33, married at 35, and first kid at 36. We'll be 54 by time she's out of high school. We've had issues getting pregnant with a second, but if we are fortunate enough to have one by the time we're 40 we'd be 58 before it graduated high school.
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jamey
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In reply to txaggie_08 • 3:53p, 8/20/25
AG
txaggie_08 said:
My wife and I didn't meet until we were 33, married at 35, and first kid at 36. We'll be 54 by time she's out of high school. We've had issues getting pregnant with a second, but if we are fortunate enough to have one by the time we're 40 we'd be 58 before it graduated high school.


I'll be 65 when my daughter turns 18. I think thats fine, reduces money issues in general
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MyMamaSaid
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In reply to TXTransplant • 3:55p, 8/20/25
AG
TXTransplant said:
My way of thinking of it, and the advice I've given my kid, is find something you're good at.

It's also a decently well-paying career path, and I've also always told him to choose something that gives him the financial freedom to pursue his other interests.

At the end of the day, it's still work.

This is some real wisdom.

I mentor A LOT of young, bright professionals and the thing I try to impress upon them is get good at what we do (they chose to be in my field amongst an ocean of opportunity) and then pay attention to gravitational pull. If you get pulled into one sector or another or a specialty and have success there, then go with it.
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MAS444
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In reply to agracer • 3:59p, 8/20/25
AG
Quote:
some of you all waited a long time to have kids.

I'm sure I'm not the only one...but I didn't "wait" to have kids. Just got married later in life and that's the way it happened.

Married at 38. Kids at 42. I could not have imagined getting married in my 20s or even early 30s.
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DannyDuberstein
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4:03p, 8/20/25
AG
The average female college graduate (bachelors) gets married at 29 these days, and it's age 30 for males. So yeah, more people are having kids later.
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jja79
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In reply to jamey • 4:06p, 8/20/25
AG
I'm 68 with a 22 year old and wouldn't change it.
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htxag09
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In reply to MAS444 • 4:06p, 8/20/25
AG
MAS444 said:
Quote:
some of you all waited a long time to have kids.

I'm sure I'm not the only one...but I didn't "wait" to have kids. Just got married later in life and that's the way it happened.

We waited. Met/started dating my 5th year at A&M, got married at 27, then had our first kid at 33.

Not saying any way is right, but I had a mentor who had a bucket list of trips to do once retiring. When she finally retired and on that first trip realized her body couldn't take the travel. She was stuck in the hotel for 2-3 days with swollen joints.

We decided to take some time to do things we really wanted to do together.
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DannyDuberstein
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4:23p, 8/20/25
AG
They cost what they cost. Someone done at 50 isn't necessarily better off than someone at 60. You either saved for it or you didn't. They are either funded by what could be saved or what was already saved. I'll still be paying for my youngest's grad school when I retire at 55 but it's covered in my financial plan
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AgOutsideAustin
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In reply to agracer • 5:38p, 8/20/25
AG
lol at you retiring now and your wife working another five years……

www.silverdivorce.com

Just kidding
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