Long story short, I've been with my current employer for 11 years (huge company) in Austin and was promoted into a leadership position a year ago. I loved it and had a great schedule and made over $200k. We're in residential construction so it's been a grind lately. We had some restructuring back in May and I was offered a move back down a rung on the ladder or take a severance and leave. I chose to stay but started looking for another job right away.

I found a really good job prospect and have been through 2 rounds of interviews this week and have a 3rd and final interview with the CEO tomorrow so I'm pretty sure there will be an offer coming. The job seems great and everything is there except for the commute. It's about an hour and 30 minutes one way to an hour and 45 minutes depending on traffic (northwest Austin to New Braunfels). I'm really struggling with that part of it. My kids are 9 and 12 and unless they can work out some sort of flex schedule or something, I think the commute is a deal breaker.

What do yall think? My wife works part time in her own business so I help out a lot with kid stuff and this would make that harder.

Moving not an option? New Braunfels is a great town!

It is a great town but moving really isn't an option at the moment. We're pretty entrenched with church and school stuff.

The other thing I didn't mention is my 9 year old has a ton of medical issues (Type 1 diabetes being the main one) and I help out a lot with that so that commute further complicates that.

I agree that I need to ask for the potential employer about a flexible/hybrid work schedule if they end up making me an offer.

Are you staying in residential construction in some capacity?

Ah yeah that makes complete sense.

That commute will wear on you in my opinion. I believe being open and honest with the hiring company would be a benefit. Assuming they know where you currently live, they continued to speak with you so I would think they'd be flexible and want someone with your qualifications.

Yes as a Senior PM

Thanks. My T1D kid is a daughter but sentiment still applies. She was diagnosed 3 years ago and it's definitely been challenging.

When were you diagnosed?

Yea you're right on my contradictory statements there. My meeting with the CEO got postponed from today to Tuesday but the more I think about it, the more I'm leaning towards staying put for now and keeping my ears open for an opportunity that may be a better fit down the road if things don't get better where I am now.

I've been with my current employer for 11 1/2 years so that's a lot of tenure to think about walking away from. They've shown me loyalty at times over the years too so that's accounts for something as well.

Yes sir I think all of those things are valid for sure. I appreciate the insight. I've been fortunate enough to drop off both kids to school nearly every day up to this point and I'm also involved with those early evening activities as well and I would really miss that. My oldest is 12 and these last 6 years we have her in the house will be gone in the blink of an eye.

I'll still go through with the final interview but I'm probably 80% no at this point.

ReloadAg said:

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Long story short, I've been with my current employer for 11 years (huge company) in Austin and was promoted into a leadership position a year ago. I loved it and had a great schedule and made over $200k. We're in residential construction so it's been a grind lately. We had some restructuring back in May and I was offered a move back down a rung on the ladder or take a severance and leave. I chose to stay but started looking for another job right away.

I found a really good job prospect and have been through 2 rounds of interviews this week and have a 3rd and final interview with the CEO tomorrow so I'm pretty sure there will be an offer coming. The job seems great and everything is there except for the commute. It's about an hour and 30 minutes one way to an hour and 45 minutes depending on traffic (northwest Austin to New Braunfels). I'm really struggling with that part of it. My kids are 9 and 12 and unless they can work out some sort of flex schedule or something, I think the commute is a deal breaker.

What do yall think? My wife works part time in her own business so I help out a lot with kid stuff and this would make that harder.

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**** that. Or... just let someone else watch your kids grow up.

Told to me by a friend.

My kids are 10 and almost 14. With different sports and different school times it gets crazy and definetly is better with two parents handling it. Diesel dad drives from NB to Austin every day but he is there early and home by lunch to wfh. 35 is a freaking beat down. Not worth it if we were in your situation.

Thanks for all the input. Keep it coming.

Zero chance I'd make that commute. Maybe once a week if the opportunity/money was right.

Different point of view. I was an Air Force brat and moved across country multiple times, first grade, 4th grade, 6th grade and 8th grade. Some of these moves were during the school year. My brother moved in the middle of his senior year. We both survived and were able to make the changes with new friends and culture.

Moving out of Austin to a smaller location with less traffic and people could be a positive family change and lower cost of living. Take a family trip and explore the area and check it out before making a decision.

Best wishes to you and your family with whatever you decide.

Thanks!

Don't listen to him. NB is full.

Haha don't worry, e're pretty set in our community in northwest Austin.

Yea fair point. Also, that 1.5 hr commute now in Apple Maps is for summer and doesn't take into account increase in traffic when school starts back up.

Would yall still go through with the Teams final interview with the CEO to build the relationship, or cancel and not waste his time?

I do Katy to Pasadena about 4 days a week. That's about 2.5 hours per day based on my exact route. I do work one day remote but honestly it doesn't feel like enough most weeks.

I've done this for 5 years and it's worn on me considerably. Kids are 13 and 17 now and I feel like I missed more than I should. Like you, my son has special needs (autism) so moving isn't really an option

I'd be very clear on the need for a flex or remote schedule with the CEO when you meet. Has it come up in other interviews?

It hasn't really come up yet. I've shared with them that my chief reservation with the opportunity was the commute involved but I haven't full-on expressed it being a dealbreaker yet.

I think one of the things to think about, is did everyone on your ladder rung get the "move down, or move out" speech? (My worry would be that they asked you to step down, but no one else and/or they aren't lowering their own compensation)

If so, then well you and your peer group are all fairly equal.

I worked for small companies for 15 years, then with a coworker created and started our own company. I'd have a very difficult time asking someone who is fairly senior in our company to take a pay cut because of our slip on business, UNLESS I've already exhausted all options including not taking bonuses or distributions for owners.

Your company doesn't sound small, but at the same time, seems like the writing is on the wall that they are either losing money every month or want to maintain more cash for the company than give it to employees. In terms of my company, moving a few employees up or down in pay scale shouldn't be a significant effect on our balance sheet, if it is then I have to start thinking about real changes (lay offs etc).


I don't know what you should do, but if the other gig is legit and more promising, that would be hard to pass up. I fully understand your daughter's health concern playing into this, but being involved in school/church can easily be replaced in a new town.


The other side of the coin is if it's a competing company, then it may appear like you're only leaving for money - when in fact it's not really the case.

It would be hard to pass up the new job for me (includes moving) if it offered flexibility, better pay, and it would increase your footprint in the industry.

Good luck!

The only way I would consider taking the new job based upon what you've said would be if I was currently unemployed or knew I was on my way out the door.

And even then, I'd take it and be constantly looking for another job and only using this one as a stopgap.

Even if they offer flex/remote to start, there's no guarantee it'll last.

For sure. Who knows what a new organization might say to try and get you to jump ship versus what that situation would actually look like once you're working there.

This particular project is going to be really busy so I'd feel pretty guilty being the new guy trying to duck out at 4:00 every day, if that was even possible.

I have no idea when you should notify your employer, but logic tells me once you have an offer in hand.

I, too, am Type 1 and have been for 41 years. I'm what I think most would consider an outlier as far as diabetes control and health. A1Cs run in the 4.5 - 4.7 range and as far as I can tell, I suffer from none of the typical complications of the disease. I offer up my services to you should you ever have questions or need help. While I'm no doctor, I feel like I have a better understanding of the disease than most doctors given my experience with living with it daily.

Best of luck to you.

I was diagnosed when I was 11 (first day of 5th grade, actually), so I was old enough to be involved in my treatment right away, which really served me well. I was giving myself shots and *****ing my finger (back when it took 45 seconds to get a reading from a glucometer) right away. I was soon drawing up my own shots too.

That would probably be my one suggestion to your family - get your daughter involved in her own treatment and care as soon as you think she can (if she isn't already). Presumably she is on a pump and CGM, so in the next year or two, I would have her putting on her own infusion site or CGM and start practicing so that she owns her treatment. This will allow her to have a more normal middle school and Hs experience, play sports, go out with friends, etc etc because she won't be reliant on you, but will know how to handle things as they arise on her own.

Best of luck and happy to chat any time. RWC and I have chatted on the H&F board before and he is a great resource.

Quinn, thank you for the kind words. I'm obviously older than you because my first glucometer took 2 min. to render a result! In fact, when I was in the hospital, they had me check blood sugar by comparing a vial of urine to the color chart on the strip container. It's come a long way!

Ha I can remember hearing old timers' stories when I was diagnosed in 1998 - now I'm becoming one of them! Funny how that happens.