Things I've seen in my lifetime that have left me speechless.
1. Driving back to A&M from Houston one night and pretty sure I witnessed some sort of UFO event.
2. Going to a strip club in Houston for a friend's bachelor party in the mid-1990s and a girl from my high school who everyone wanted to bang was working there and was extremely naked.
3. Hearing that the Suns had taken Jalen Green for Kevin Durant.
#3 is by far the most unbelievable. A seven-team deal where the Suns did not get Alpern Sengun, did not get Amen Thompson, hell didn't even get Jabari Smith for one of the greatest players of all time. Instead they got Jalen "they've got to start going in sometime" Green, Dillon Brooks, Khaman Maluach, who I'd like to see get married to Chris Kaman, so he can be Khaman Kaman, two second-round draft picks this year, one next year, and one in 2032, when I will be almost 60 years old and Jalen Green will still suck.
Welcome to the 2025-2026 Houston Rockets official season thread!
Of course that highway robbery was tempered by Fred Van Vleet's mysterious ACL injury 3 weeks ago. I'm told it was during an "unofficial team workout in the Bahamas." It sounds like the time Moises Alou fell off a treadmill or when Jeff Kent broke his wrist "washing his truck" but was probably actually riding a motorcycle.
Well, FVV was a gamer, and we'll have to get past his injury. Hopefully with a whole lot of Amen Thompson running the point, or with Reed Shepperd remembering he's supposed to be good at basketball, and not just while playing in the Rio Grande Valley.
The betting line on Houston wins pre-FVV was 53.5, now it's down to 52.5. The team that sucked ass shooting the ball last year put 140 on the Jazz in a preseason game earlier tonight. They were 53.6% from the field and hit 13 three-pointers. Of course that's preseason vs. the Jazz. The starting 5 looks like Durant (wearing #7), Jabari, Amen, Sengun, and Reed Shepperd right now. Durant is wearing #7, clearly to honor Carl Herrera from the 94-95 title teams.
So yeah, Kevin Durant plays for the Rockets now. We're one Serge Ibaka trade away from having had all four of the Thunder's best players of the past decade on the team at some point Durant, Westbrook, and Harden all check the bingo card. Durant is old, but he dropped 26.6 a game last year and he's never averaged less than 25.3 per game since his rookie year. He played for the Seattle Supersonics that year. So, a bit ago.
Questions abound for team chemistry. Will Durant's presence slow the maturation of Amen Thompson? Is Sengun still going to get his looks inside? Should Reed Shepperd legally change his name to Matt Maloney?
Let's not forget about the smaller, but perhaps shrewder deal for Dorian Finney-Smith. He's still recovering from ankle surgery, and he's already 32, so that 4-year deal is already looking kind of iffy. Regardless when he's on, he's such a great glue guy, what you need especially with Brooks moving on.
What the team really needs is health. My low-key favorite Rocket Tari Eason missed 25 games last year. So did Jabari. Amen missed 13. Van Vleet is obviously out all year after missing 22 games in 2024-2025. But Jalen Green played all 82. He was like Christian Walker for the Astros. The one guy you wouldn't mind going on the DL was Mr. Atlas all year.
The team also added Josh Okogie, whoever the hell that is, and Clint Capela. I assumed Capela was like 50 when I heard that news. Turns out, he won't even be 32 until the playoffs never year. Fun fact, he was born May 18, 1994 during the Rockets-Suns' epic WCSF clash. Capela was 34 days old when the Rockets won the title over the Knicks. Okogie is 27, and is a 6-4 shooting guard. The best thing about him is one of his nicknames is Obi-Wan Okogie.
In addition to Brooks and Green, the Rockets sent Cam Whitmore packing in the most obvious "go away" trade of all time. He's back home with the Bullets now. I'm sure he'll be fine.
The Rockets open the season in style with a nationally-televised game at OKC on Tuesday, October 21 as the league returns to the best place it ever existed NBC, complete with the theme song that gave me so many chills during the 90s when no team around could stop our boys.
I'll be rolling out Rockets/NBA Bingo in a week or so. It's a chance to stay a lot more involved, have fun, and make some coin on the side. I did it for the Astros in 2024 as a joke when they started off so poorly, but we played it for real this year with 41 people making picks and the top guys splitting $100.
We're doing it on the Texans thread as well. We've got 24 playing and $250 in prize money.
I'll post the explainer and the rules a week before the regular season starts.
In the words of my boy Wolverine,
1. Driving back to A&M from Houston one night and pretty sure I witnessed some sort of UFO event.
2. Going to a strip club in Houston for a friend's bachelor party in the mid-1990s and a girl from my high school who everyone wanted to bang was working there and was extremely naked.
3. Hearing that the Suns had taken Jalen Green for Kevin Durant.
#3 is by far the most unbelievable. A seven-team deal where the Suns did not get Alpern Sengun, did not get Amen Thompson, hell didn't even get Jabari Smith for one of the greatest players of all time. Instead they got Jalen "they've got to start going in sometime" Green, Dillon Brooks, Khaman Maluach, who I'd like to see get married to Chris Kaman, so he can be Khaman Kaman, two second-round draft picks this year, one next year, and one in 2032, when I will be almost 60 years old and Jalen Green will still suck.
Welcome to the 2025-2026 Houston Rockets official season thread!
Of course that highway robbery was tempered by Fred Van Vleet's mysterious ACL injury 3 weeks ago. I'm told it was during an "unofficial team workout in the Bahamas." It sounds like the time Moises Alou fell off a treadmill or when Jeff Kent broke his wrist "washing his truck" but was probably actually riding a motorcycle.
Well, FVV was a gamer, and we'll have to get past his injury. Hopefully with a whole lot of Amen Thompson running the point, or with Reed Shepperd remembering he's supposed to be good at basketball, and not just while playing in the Rio Grande Valley.
The betting line on Houston wins pre-FVV was 53.5, now it's down to 52.5. The team that sucked ass shooting the ball last year put 140 on the Jazz in a preseason game earlier tonight. They were 53.6% from the field and hit 13 three-pointers. Of course that's preseason vs. the Jazz. The starting 5 looks like Durant (wearing #7), Jabari, Amen, Sengun, and Reed Shepperd right now. Durant is wearing #7, clearly to honor Carl Herrera from the 94-95 title teams.
So yeah, Kevin Durant plays for the Rockets now. We're one Serge Ibaka trade away from having had all four of the Thunder's best players of the past decade on the team at some point Durant, Westbrook, and Harden all check the bingo card. Durant is old, but he dropped 26.6 a game last year and he's never averaged less than 25.3 per game since his rookie year. He played for the Seattle Supersonics that year. So, a bit ago.
Questions abound for team chemistry. Will Durant's presence slow the maturation of Amen Thompson? Is Sengun still going to get his looks inside? Should Reed Shepperd legally change his name to Matt Maloney?
Let's not forget about the smaller, but perhaps shrewder deal for Dorian Finney-Smith. He's still recovering from ankle surgery, and he's already 32, so that 4-year deal is already looking kind of iffy. Regardless when he's on, he's such a great glue guy, what you need especially with Brooks moving on.
What the team really needs is health. My low-key favorite Rocket Tari Eason missed 25 games last year. So did Jabari. Amen missed 13. Van Vleet is obviously out all year after missing 22 games in 2024-2025. But Jalen Green played all 82. He was like Christian Walker for the Astros. The one guy you wouldn't mind going on the DL was Mr. Atlas all year.
The team also added Josh Okogie, whoever the hell that is, and Clint Capela. I assumed Capela was like 50 when I heard that news. Turns out, he won't even be 32 until the playoffs never year. Fun fact, he was born May 18, 1994 during the Rockets-Suns' epic WCSF clash. Capela was 34 days old when the Rockets won the title over the Knicks. Okogie is 27, and is a 6-4 shooting guard. The best thing about him is one of his nicknames is Obi-Wan Okogie.
In addition to Brooks and Green, the Rockets sent Cam Whitmore packing in the most obvious "go away" trade of all time. He's back home with the Bullets now. I'm sure he'll be fine.
The Rockets open the season in style with a nationally-televised game at OKC on Tuesday, October 21 as the league returns to the best place it ever existed NBC, complete with the theme song that gave me so many chills during the 90s when no team around could stop our boys.
I'll be rolling out Rockets/NBA Bingo in a week or so. It's a chance to stay a lot more involved, have fun, and make some coin on the side. I did it for the Astros in 2024 as a joke when they started off so poorly, but we played it for real this year with 41 people making picks and the top guys splitting $100.
We're doing it on the Texans thread as well. We've got 24 playing and $250 in prize money.
I'll post the explainer and the rules a week before the regular season starts.
In the words of my boy Wolverine,
